


what makes you feel good

by syniaie



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Dresses, Fashion With Feelings, Love Confessions, M/M, Mental Health Issues, brief slur, ignis needs therapy but he doesn't want to look weak oops, self discovery, venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:22:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22267849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syniaie/pseuds/syniaie
Summary: Ignis finds himself a little.Written in part for Ignis Fashion Week 2020
Relationships: Gladiolus Amicitia/Ignis Scientia
Kudos: 24





	what makes you feel good

The first time Noctis wore a dress, he was seven.

There was no thought of wrongness when he pointed to the frilly thing, a yellow soft as sunshine and trimmed with white lace. It simply pleased him, it simply felt  _ right _ , and so it confused him when his father gave him a look.

“Are you sure?” Regis asked, his brows drawn slightly together. The prince didn’t hesitate, pointing once again at the dress and adding a tug on his father’s pant leg with a touch of puppy eyes. Both of them knew the king would cave in to Noctis’ wishes eventually, especially something so inconsequential as a piece of clothing, but Regis couldn’t say he hadn’t tried.

They bought the dress, and as soon as it had been washed, Noctis slipped it on and spun in circles, giggling at how the silky soft material flared out around him until he became dizzy and fell to the floor. He hardly noticed Ignis’ curious glances through his pure, innocent joy, and he refused to wear anything but the dress for an entire week.

The next time Noctis wore a dress, he was ten.

It had been an eternity and yet a blink of an eye since the injury that left him weak and helpless. In that time, he had been recovering, going to physical therapy, talking to a number of counselors - it was mind numbing and painful and the spring in his step had disappeared altogether.

One day, though, he found a rich purple dress that went down to his knees hung on the other side of his door. It was enough to make him smile for the first time in a long, long while. As Noctis hurried to put it on, he almost missed the small yellow note tumbling from the folds of the skirt.

_ I thought maybe you’d enjoy this. _

  * _Regis_



After that, dresses became more common; added cleanly into his rotation of outfits. One or twice a month, maybe once every two weeks, he would wear a dress. Most were cut short - Noctis wasn’t particularly fond of longer dresses - and came in all different colors, although he tended to prefer the darker ones with cool tones to them. It was just a part of life.

When he went to school in a dress, everyone whispered. Noctis couldn’t help but overhear the critical voices of the other children, even if nobody would say it directly to his face.  _ Is that a dress? Why is a boy wearing a dress? It looks so weird. It looks so bad. _

He wouldn’t lie and say it didn’t hurt, but the prince just shrugged them off. Feeling better about himself - while wearing a dress - was more important than anything anyone else could say anyways.

That’s how it was for  _ ages _ . By then, the tabloids had noticed too - questioning the king’s decision to let his son run rampant in female clothing and doubting the boy’s masculinity.  _ Let them talk, _ Noctis told himself.  _ Let them think what they want. You can’t change it anyways. _

His world seemed to freeze when he was casually approached by a blonde boy his age with bright violet eyes, an explosion of freckles, and most importantly, a soft pink colored, ruffled, off the shoulder  _ dress _ .

“Hey! You’re Noctis, right?” His smile was incredible, bright as the sun and sweet as the cotton candy color of his outfit. “Nice to meet you, dude! I’m Prompto.”

“Well, uh, hi?” The prince was still awestruck, staring intensely at the blonde’s choice in clothing with his heart racing because  _ there was someone out here like him _ .

Swallowing, Noctis finally let himself look up at Prompto. By the second, his smile was becoming more strained, and he noticed him gripping quietly to the pleats of his dress.  _ Shit. _

“Uh - I’m really sorry for staring. It’s just - I never thought…” The prince sunk back into himself, embarrassed.

“That you’d find someone else?” Prompto asked softly. When Noctis jolted, the blonde gave him a little smile. “Neither did I, but here I am.”

He looked down at his own dress - a simple dark green fabric with a skirt to his knees and three quarter sleeves - and felt himself smile back, his cheeks getting rosy. “Here we are, yeah. You… wanna stay and talk awhile?”

Prompto brightened immediately, and Noctis couldn’t help but think about how cute he was and how utterly relieved he felt to have someone who understood.

They formed a quick and easy friendship, finding themselves connecting in ways they hadn’t even imagined. Prompto had more dresses than Noctis, and wore them more often, but he was slowly easing Noctis into trying something new. It was a good change for the prince, and often they could be found together, side by side, talking about anything and everything. Somehow, between pushing away the part of the world that rioted against the simple clothes they wore and celebrating themselves, neither noticed the frequent looks they would get from the prince’s advisor and Shield.

And so, it surprised them when Gladiolus came one day in Ignis’ place to pick them up from school - in a form fitting, sleeveless crimson dress with a halter neckline.

“What’re you two staring at, we got shit to do. I’m not gonna wait here all day while you two pick your jaws up off the ground.”

They clambered in, just like always, but this time, when a call of  _ “Faggot!”  _ came after them, Gladio stuck his middle finger out the window as they left.

The Shield never made a habit out of wearing dresses like Prompto and Noctis did. It was only for when he felt like it, he said, and the two younger boys accepted that immediately. After all, some people found their happiness in their own styles differently. The best nights were the ones where they all went together somewhere quiet and peaceful and everyone could be themselves for a while, free of judgement.

Everyone but Ignis.

Those nights, he usually went more quiet than normal - and nobody pushed him, as it was his choice. There was something  _ off _ about it, but no questions were asked, as per their silent agreement. It was a time to feel safe and comfortable, and pushing would only make it the opposite. 

Tonight was one of those nights, all four of them clustered around a picnic table in a park on the edge of Insomnia, watching the Wall’s ethereal violet glow and picking out the few stars that shined through. Eager but easy chatter filled the cool autumn air as they all leaned towards each other. Most of the casual talk was centered around one thing in particular.

Noctis’ 20th birthday, and the accompanying ball, were soon approaching.

“I’m thinking about something red,” Prompto says, chin in his hands. “Something sleeker than my usual stuff.”

Gladio snorted. “You? In red? Something tells me that’s not a great idea.”

“Gotta admit, Gladio’s right,” Noctis added, drumming his fingers absentmindedly against the cool wood of the table. “Most other colors, yeah, I can see it. But red? Nah, not your color.”

“Besides, if you brought something more form fitting, it wouldn’t favor you for dancing,” Ignis speaks up.

“Good thing I had a backup plan, then,” Prompto grinned. “Purple sound better to you? Like - a bluer purple. Blurple? Jewel tones. We all know I’m going sleeveless, but maybe a longer skirt? It’s Noct’s birthday, after all, I don’t want to look like I’m going to prom.”

Gladio nodded slowly after a minute. “Better,” he conceded, “But I still think blue is better. Thank the Astrals I don’t have to worry about this crap since I gotta wear my Crownsguard formals anyways.”

“Yeah, lucky you,” Noctis drawls, shifting to support his head with one hand. “I got my shit all picked out for me too - not my favorite, but I can roll with it. Empire waistline, off the shoulder sleeves, skirt so long I’ll have people tripping over my ass all night. Black with gold trim like everything else in Lucis.”

“Noooct, that sounds pretty  _ and _ just your style! You’ve got nothing to complain about.”

The prince shrugged. “...It’s not bad, it’s just that I didn’t pick it out myself. It’ll be over with soon anyways.”

“Just as picky as ever,” Gladio drawled. “You got something set up for the ball, Ignis?”

The advisor jolted slightly when he was addressed, voice tense. “Currently, no - but I do have a block of time set out to retrieve some custom ordered garments tomorrow.”

“Always prepared. That’s our Iggy,” Prompto chimed.

It was silent for a moment as Ignis’ pinky twitched to show his discomfort.

“....Aaaaanyways, how far have you gotten in Verum Rex, Noct?”

Gladio shot Ignis a questioning look from across the table as Prompto and Noctis quickly dissolved into banter about their latest video game feats. Ignis pressed his lips together in a thin line.  _ Leave it be. _

With a slight frown of his own, the Shield obliged Ignis’ silent request.

Two days later, Ignis found himself cornered.

Gladio leaned against an elbow in the doorway, brows furrowed as he blocked the entrance to Ignis’ office. The advisor gripped the small stack of files he clutched just the slightest bit more.

“Iggy,” Gladio greeted. “Need to talk to you.”

“Can’t it wait?” Ignis asked, voice exasperated with a touch of pleading. “I have work to get done.”

“When I came all this way to see you? No way. C’mon.” Gladio moved aside, at that, letting Ignis squeeze himself past the Shield’s bulky frame and make for his desk, Gladio following at a sedate pace. He dragged up the chair that sat opposite of Ignis’, across the desk, and moved it over to rest beside Ignis instead before he finally sat.

“You’ve been off lately,” Gladio stated, and Ignis froze.

“You can’t deny it, we all know you have. I’m just the only one with enough balls to actually talk to you about it. Well, first. SO what I really wanna know, is-”

Gladio turned in his chair, facing Ignis, his amber eyes piercing and making his soul squirm. “What’s wrong, Iggy?”

It was tense for a long, silence laden moment, Ignis refusing to look Gladio in the eyes. His fingers twitched in his gloves, betraying his nerves.

“I suppose I don’t have a choice, do I?” Ignis sighed, shoulders slumping. Gladio gave him a small grin.

“Nope.”

“Very well, then.”

Ignis paused, collecting his thoughts. Gladio was silent beside him, giving him space but staring at him expectantly.

“I assume you’ve noticed from the nights we all share, sometimes,” Ignis began. “I have a hard time with them not because of any of you, merely because of myself.”

“You see, I come from a very traditional household with parents that abhorred anything to do with lessening the restraints enforced by an outdated society. I grew up being told many things that I don’t believe, but stick around in my head anyways no matter how I try to ignore them. Even after my parents died and my uncle took me in, they stayed with me, like ghosts whispering in my ears. My uncle… was far more lenient, but had the same air about him that my parents had, and that only reminded me what I was not allowed to do all the more. I could never turn to him, not of any fault of his own, just a feeling that kept me away.”

“And so, I stuck with this feeling - watching it close me into a little box devoid of self expression and the life that I need. The idea that I must always be perfect, be professional, conform to everything they expect me to be even when I’m simply  _ not _ . Noctis and Prompto and you all are so…  _ free _ , in that little way, that you can express yourself however you want, even if your destiny is certain, and I want a part of it so badly but somehow it keeps slipping out of my grasp just when I feel I have the confidence to take it on.”

Gladio listened quietly and attentively, stare fixated on Ignis as he spoke. As soon as the advisor finished, he scooted closer.

“...Sounds like you need someone in your corner,” Gladio said, gently, and Ignis took in a sharp breath.

“You’ve been fighting this for Astrals knows how long, but I think what’s really got you in a bind is that you felt alone. You’re the strongest person I know, but some things… Some things, you need a little help, and it’s okay to ask for it. It’s not admitting defeat if you need someone else by your side, but even I usually forget that when it comes to myself.”

A firm hand rested on Ignis’ shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. “And, really? You’re unique as hell, and it’s a little hard to think about you feeling so caged without anyone noticing. I know what you need, though.”

Ignis looked up from his clasped hands to meet Gladio’s intense stare “You do?”

“You need to hear this from someone that matters, and I like to think I matter to you. Do what makes you feel good, Iggy,” Gladio urged. “Nobody else can force you to do shit. What matters is that you’re comfortable in your own skin. Let yourself come through.”

It was quiet as Ignis rubbed his face with a hand, his glasses pushed out and angled awkwardly from the force of the gloved hand beneath.

“You’re right,” Ignis finally spoke. “I’m sorry, Gladio. I didn’t mean to weigh on you like this. I… don’t normally speak my thoughts.”

“I know, and it’s okay. You should really vent a little more - you already seem a hell of a lot better than ten minutes ago and all you did was talk. I’m here for you, Iggy. Anytime you need. You can trust me.”

Ignis felt a blush rising to his cheeks and he closed his eyes tightly in an attempt to will it away.  _ I already do _ , he wanted to say.  _ More than you know _ .

Gladio patted his back reassuringly. “I’ve gotta get going now, but remember that, okay? You’re not alone.”

“I will,” Ignis murmured, finally looking up at the Shield. He had a soft smile on his face that made his heart stutter. 

“Good. See you later, Iggy.”

“You as well, Gladio.”

Ignis bit his lip as Gladiolus slid from his side and was out the door in a manner of moments. Warmth blossomed in his chest from the words, something so simple suddenly meaning the world to him. He wasn’t alone. He had people to lean on, he had Gladio to confide in. Suddenly it struck him that no matter how easy his friends made it seem, they likely had their own troubles too, and with the thought came a wave of relief that made him slump back in his chair from how overwhelming it felt.

All at once, he was filled with a new confidence. Ignis wanted to take the advice, to risk it, to break free from the stuffy confinement that was the box he had been forced into his whole life, but  _ how _ ? Freedom was so close, but so far away. He felt like he needed to make a statement, not only to the world, but to  _ himself _ .

He tapped his desk with one gloved finger before suddenly stilling. 

_ The perfect opportunity is just around the corner. _

Ignis frantically grabbed his laptop and got to work.

…

As night descended upon Noctis’ birthday, the Citadel came alive. 

Lights were strung across every window and doorway, great silk banners of black and gold lining every hall. The grand ballroom had been extensively decorated in every possible way: navy flowers and their petals in vases and dusted carefully across the floors, fine golden lace on the edge of every tablecloth, even the chairs all specially ordered in a deep mahogany with elegant black upholstery. The two grand staircases on either side of the large room allowed every guest to make a grand entrance, the rails curled in lights and every post covered in flowers and ribbon.

All in all, too much - but that wasn’t what held Noctis’ attention at the moment.

“Where’s Specs?” he asked Gladio, who stood just to his right in his exquisite uniform. “He’s late, and he’s never late for this kind of thing.”

The three of them were clustered together by the bottom of the left staircase, the event having started a half hour ago. Noble couples swayed together on the dance floor to the sound of weeping violins and crooning cellos, a wonderful melody that any other time would’ve been heaven to him. Plenty of other officials from all over Eos mingled together just outside the dance floor, making small talk and enjoying the atmosphere with a drink or two.

“Yeah, dude, I’m starting to get worried,” Prompto added with a frown, fidgeting with the long skirt of his dress unconsciously. 

Gladio shrugged, but he looked just as disturbed as the other two. “Wish I could tell you.”

“Where could he be?” Noctis demanded, his hands clenching into fists. “He could be in trouble, we have to go find him.”

“We can’t just leave your own birthday behind,” Gladio argued. “King Regis would never forgive you.”

“I can’t just sit here and do nothing!” Noctis snapped, fingernails digging into his palms as he struggled not to clutch the flowy black tuule of his gown. “Ignis could be hurt!”

“Guys!” Prompto whispered in awe, staring somewhere above and behind Noctis’ head. “Look!”

“Not now, Prom, we gotta… find…”

His voice died as he looked up to the top of the staircase.

Ignis stood, tall and elegant, on the very top stair. He was clad in a dress of pure, clean white, crisp as a fresh snowfall and soft as a flower petal. It was a mermaid dress - hugging his body tightly to emphasize every lean line and strong curve until it flared out around his calves in a burst of tasteful ruffles, the edges seemingly floating along the floor. It had sleeves, ones that went all the way down his arms and clung to his body via a loop around each middle finger. The collar was a high turtleneck that glittered at the neckline with tiny diamonds arranged in an intricate pattern. He had his hair down, swept to the side and pushed behind one ear, with large earrings that matched the pattern of diamonds sparkling around his neck. Even his glasses had been exchanged for a pair with thinner rims in a light silver, and as he began his descent down the staircase, Noctis caught a flash of white stilettos peeking out from underneath the bottom of his dress.

Gladio was the first to react, whistling long and loud. Ignis’ ears turned red and his cheeks a gentle pink as he made his way down. “Damn, Iggy! Decided to one up us all on Noct’s special night, huh?”

“It’s hardly anything special,” Ignis murmured as he settled into their little group, his hands clutched together shyly in front of him.

“Spin! Spin!” Prompto cheered, his baby blue dress bouncing along with him in his excitement. “Show us the back!”

Ignis’ face flushed deeper but he obeyed after a second. None of them expected the cut out in the back, starting from just above his shoulder blades and leading all the way down to almost the base of his spine, exposing nearly his entire back.

“Holy  _ shit _ ,” Gladio said, and Noctis had to agree.

Ignis quickly turned back around, pivoting neatly even in the tall heels he wore. He cleared his throat before speaking, not looking any of them in the eye.

“I decided that if I were to go for it, I would go all the way,” He mumbled, nearly inaudibly.

“You look  _ perfect _ !” Prompto practically squealed, grabbing Ignis’ pale hands and squeezing them tightly. “I can’t believe it!”

“Yeah, Specs, you really stepped up your game,” Noctis added with a smile. “It’s a good change. You look - uh, kinda… glowy.”

“He’s right. You look… happy, I think,” Gladio said, voice unusually soft now that Ignis was closer. His cheeks were noticeably red, eyes sparkling as he looked to him. Ignis’ face absolutely burned under the attention.

“Thank you all,” Ignis laughed, his mouth turned up into an untameable smile. “I’m very sorry for my late appearance, but this took a little longer to pull off than I had originally estimated.”

“It’s all good. Just - give me a little warning next time, yeah?”

“Of course. This won’t happen again.” Ignis’ eyes averted momentarily in embarrassment.

“Hey, Noct?” Gladio spoke, voice still in that odd tone that made Ignis’ legs weak. “Think His Majesty has been asking for you. Take Prom with you to be safe.”

Noctis shot him a quizzical look that quickly morphed into understanding. “Oh. Uh… okay. C’mon, Prom.” 

The prince grabbed Prompto’s wrist, ignoring the blonde’s questions as he pulled him along to vanish into the crowd. Ignis watched them leave, laughing under his breath.

He was startled by a large hand, warm and reassuring, grasping one of his own. Ignis turned to face Gladio, blinking as the Shield held his hand gently but firmly.

“This is what you’ve been hiding away, huh?” Gladio’s voice was fond, and Ignis couldn’t stop his blush from crawling down his neck.

“Something along those lines,” the advisor replied, offering him a small smile. Gladio returned it tenfold, big and warm and enough to make his knees wobble.

“Gotta say, this is a pretty amazing change. Brings out all the things that are usually a lot more subtle.”

“Is that a compliment or a critique?” Ignis asked, laughing into his free hand when Gladio turned red and started stuttering. “Gladiolus, it’s okay - it was only a joke.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Gladio chuckled with him. “Anyways, uh, I wanted to ask you if, um - would you like to dance with me?”

Ignis stared at Gladio as the Shield quietly squeezed his hand, bringing it up to his lips to kiss his second left knuckle. His eyes were determined but nervous, something he’d never thought he’d see directed at him.

“I… Sure,” Ignis answered softly and inelegantly, his heart threatening to burst as Gladio’s lips split into a warm smile against his fingertips. 

Wordlessly, Gladio led him to the edge of the dance floor, tugging him close as soon as they made it to an area that was relatively quiet and clear of people. The hand clutching Ignis’ shifted to twine their fingers together, the other settling intimately on Ignis’ hip as the Shield easily fell into the leading role. The advisor blushed but settled into position as well, his free hand lightly sliding along Gladio’s arm to rest upon his shoulder. Together, they slowly started to step to the beat.

“Why did you ask me out here?” Ignis asked, voice soft in the private little cocoon they made of each other’s bodies. Gladio looked up from where he had been staring at the diamonds scattered carefully over Ignis’ neckline, their gazes meeting as an indiscernible but wonderful feeling washed over both of them.

Gladio hesitated momentarily. “I like you,” he muttered, breaking eye contact with Ignis. “Have for a hell of a long time. ‘S part of why I got so worried about you, if I’m honest. I’ve been kind of a coward about it, but seeing you tonight, how goddamn  _ beautiful _ you are and knowing this is the real you? It was just…” He shrugged one shoulder. “Irresistible.”

A moment passed in which the only sounds were the lovely song of the strings and the murmur of the crowd, their bodies still moving in effortless synchronicity as the clock ticked forward. Gladio’s grip on Ignis tightened with every passing second, his palms beginning to sweat as nerves got the better of him.

All of a sudden, Ignis laughed, a soft and dainty thing that made Gladio’s heart wilt and clench all in the same moment. He stopped them altogether, the hand at the Shield’s shoulder moving up to cup his face.

“And here I was, thinking that I hadn’t been subtle enough,” he chuckled, eyes glittering. “I like you too, and have just as long, if not longer, than you have. I… The talk we had, a couple days ago - it gave me something I never knew I needed, and I figured I had to impress you in return. This is exactly what I wanted to be, although I may have moved far less gradually than I originally intended, and I have only you to thank.”

Gladio’s eyes shone and his smile was bright enough to light up the room. “Well, I wouldn’t say I did  _ that _ much.”

“And now you decide to play humble?” Ignis laughed, bringing their faces together so that their foreheads touched. “I fell in love with an idiot.”

Gladio’s breath caught for a moment at the word, but his smile somehow grew bigger than before. “And I fell in love with the smartest man in all of Eos. Not really a fair trade, but I’m hoping you won’t trade me out for a better one.”

“Not for anything in the world,” Ignis murmured, and he leaned forward to gently connect their lips.

It was only a second, but it felt like a blissful eternity. Ever so quietly, under the grand lights and navy flowers, they melded together in a way that felt like second nature. Gentle and tender, a moment stolen for themselves where nothing mattered but the soft press of lips against lips.

Gladio blinked as Ignis drew away, his cheeks bright red. “Wow.”

“Not my first choice of descriptor, but apt all the same,” Ignis hummed, his own face flushed in much the same way. 

Gladio’s hand came up off of where it lingered on Ignis’ hip and rested against the one cupping his face. “Hey, how about we ditch this party and go somewhere a little less stuck up. Just this once. Prom’s here with Noct, and all the guards are on alert, so he’ll be fine.”

Ignis hesitated, but Gladio’s eyes were pleading and warm, and he couldn’t hold out for long. “Alright,” he conceded, breaking out into a small smile. “Just this once.”

And so they left, hand in hand, the train of Ignis’ dress sliding quietly across the floor between the scattered petals. When Noctis asked them where they went the next day, they merely smiled at one another.

**Author's Note:**

> owie wowie my achy back. hope you all enjoyed


End file.
